24thmystery

I have not posted in forever because things are strange, as they always are.

I'll post sometime, perhaps, about some of the good books I've read lately.

Until then...

tomorrow, once I have learned them, I will post some of the latest up-to-date methods of coping with stress.

(today hopefully i will get a desk & bookcase for my new room)

life is strange, people are strange,
things change -- but only if you force it- otherwise everything stays the same.

call me a huge dork...

i'm happy about ashlee & pete!


<3





if i would have been invited, patrick would not have left early :P (he posted on his website that he left early & was dog-sitting).


..

now i have to print out powerpoint slides before class, deal with some cell phone stuff, and make my bedroom habitable.

Time Magazine complied a list of the "100 Best English-Language Novels From 1923 to the Present"
I'm exactly one-quarter done with that list, whereas I'm only 14/100 (7/50? does that sound like a more impressive ratio?) of the way through the MLA list.

http://www.time.com/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html
Time's list is certainly more limited-- and why was 1923 chosen as the start date, anyway? It helps that the Time list includes some more modern (bestselling) authors.

Overlap:
2. The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
6. The Sound and the Fury, William Faulkner
13. 1984, George Orwell
15. To The Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf
17. The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter, Carson McCullers
18. Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut
19. Invisible Man, Robert Ellison
20. Native Son, Richard Wright
81. The Adventures of Augie March, Saul Bellow
34. A Handful of Dust, Evelyn Waugh
45. The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway
36. All the King's Men, Robert Penn Warren
40. The Heart of the Matter, Graham Greene
16. An American Tragedy, Theodore Dreiser
31. Animal Farm, George Orwell
22. Appointment in Samarra, John O'Hara
37. The Bridge of San Luis Rey, Thornton Wilder
55. On The Road, Jack Keroac
64. The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
65. A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess
43. A Dance to the Music of Time, Anthony Powell
60. The Moviegoer, Walter Percy
61. Death Comes for the Archbishop, Willa Cather
84. The Death Of The Heart, Elizabeth Bowen
42. Deliverance, James Dickey
39. Go Tell It On The Mountain, James Baldwin
10. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinback
54. Light in August, William Faulkner
41. Lord of the Flies, William Golding
52. Portnoy's Complaint, Phillip Roth
53. Pale Fire, Vladmir Nobokov
25. A Passage to India, E.M. Forester
86. Ragtime, E.L. Doctorow
76. The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Muriel Spark
89. Loving, Henry Green
90. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie
94. White Saragasso Seas, Jean Rhys
95. Under the Net, Iris Murdoch



TIME but not MLA:
- American Pastoral, Phillip Roth (read)
- Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret, Judy Blume
-The Assistant, Bernard Malmud
- At Swim-Two-Birds, Flann O'Brien
- Atonement, Ian McEwan
- Beloved, Toni Morrison
- The Berlin Stories, Christopher Isherwood
- The Big Sleep, Raymond Chandler
- The Blind Assassian, Margaret Atwood (read)
- Blood Meridian, Cormac McCarthy
- Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
- Call it Sleep, Henry Roth
- The Confessions of Nat Turner, William Styron (read)
- The Corrections, Johnathan Franzen (read)
- The Crying of Lot 49, Thomas Pynchon
- Catch-22, Joseph Heller
- The Day of the Locusts, Nathaneal West
- A Death in the Family, James Agee
- Dog Soldiers, Robert Stone
- Falconer, John Cheever
- The French Lieutenant's Woman, John Fowles
- The Golden Notebook, Doris Lessing
- Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell
- Gravity's Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon
- Herzog, Saul Bellow
- Housekeeping, Marilynne Robinson
- A House for Mr. Biswas, V.S. Naipaul
- I, Claudius, Robert Graves
- Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace
- The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, C.S. Lewis
- Lolita, Vladimir Nobokov
- The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
- Lucky Jim, Kingsley Amis
- The Man Who Loved Children, Christina Stead
- Money, Martin Amis
- Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf
- Naked Lunch, William Burroughs
- Neuromancer, William Gibson
- Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro
- One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest, Ken Kesey
- The Painted Bird, Jerry Kosinski
- Play It As It Lays, Joan Didion
- Posession, A.S. Byatt
- The Power and the Glory, Graham Greene
- Rabbit, Run, John Updike
- The Recognitions, William Gaddis
- Red Harvest, Dashiell Hammett
- Revolutionary Road, Richard Yates
- The Sheltering Sky, Paul Bowles
- Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson
- The Sot-Weed Factor, John Barth
- The Sportswriter, Richard Ford
- The Spy Who Came In From the Cold, John le Carre
- Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston
- Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe
- To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee
- Tropic of Cancer, Henry Miller
- Ubik, Phillip K. Dick
- Under the Volcano, Malcom Lowry
- Watchmen, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
- White Noise, Don DeLillio
- White Teeth, Zadie Smith

I am not sure where I will be working this summer.
I am not sure what courses I will be taking this summer.
I do know that I am going to run a 5K and I would like to do something impressive.
I am also going to complete this list (finally, I've been planning this since LAST summer!)


Modern Library- 100 Best Novels
(http://www.randomhouse.com/modernlibrary/100bestnovels.html)
(I've read the underlined ones. I'm reading the bold one. As you can see, I have a lot of reading to do! & I'm hoping quite a few will be available digitally so I can complete my project despite the library's limited summer hours.)

1. ULYSSES by James Joyce- OWN IT & WORKING ON IT! :)
2. THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald
~> Of course we all love this book.
3. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by James Joyce downloaded it & working it
4. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov
5. BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley
~> Perhaps my favorite book ever. I should really bring my copy to school.
6. THE SOUND AND THE FURY by William Faulkner
7. CATCH-22
8. DARKNESS AT NOON by Arthur Koestler
9. SONS AND LOVERS by D.H. Lawrence
10. THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
~> Another favorite. Also the first book I ever wrote a proper literary paper about.
11. UNDER THE VOLCANO by Malcolm Lowry
12. THE WAY OF ALL FLESH by Samuel Butler
13. 1984 by George Orwell
~> Book > Play, the production that I saw was too noisome & scary.
14. I, CLAUDIUS by Robert Graves
15. TO THE LIGHTHOUSE by Virginia Woolf
~> Read in High School when I was too young to properly understand. Should re-read.
16. AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY by Theodore Dreiser
~> Bought this at Borders over Christmas vacation & have recently started reading it!
17. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers
18. SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut
19. INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison
~> Read this when I was a teenager, don't remember much, most likely will re-read.
20. NATIVE SON by Richard Wright
21. HENDERSON THE RAIN KING by Saul Bellow CHECKED IT OUT, WORKIN ON IT
22. APPOINTMENT IN SAMARRA by John O'Hara
23. U.S.A. (trilogy) by John Dos Passos
24. WINESBURG, OHIO by Sherwood Anderson
25. A PASSAGE TO INDIA by E.M. Forster
26. THE WINGS OF THE DOVE by Henry James
27. THE AMBASSADORS by Henry James
28. TENDER IS THE NIGHT by F. Scott Fitzgerald
29. THE STUDS LONIGAN TRILOGY by James T. Farrell
30. THE GOOD SOLDIER by Ford Madox Ford
31. ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell
~> I read this in 8th grade because the boy I had a crush on did his book report on it. He wore animal-head masks. This crush was very good for my intellect-- this boy was a genius, he had me reading about things, like quantum mechanics and Tao, and saved my brain from rotting entirely away on the Backstreet Boys.
32. THE GOLDEN BOWL by Henry James
33. SISTER CARRIE by Theodore Dreiser
~> Read this online a couple of years ago, very much enjoyed it.
34. A HANDFUL OF DUST by Evelyn Waugh
35. AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner
36. ALL THE KING'S MEN by Robert Penn Warren
37. THE BRIDGE OF SAN LUIS REY by Thornton Wilder
~> My mother gave me this book as a present when I was younger. I've read it several times, but I fear I still don't understand.
38. HOWARDS END by E.M. Forster
39. GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN by James Baldwin
40. THE HEART OF THE MATTER by Graham Greene
41. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding
~> FLEX. Enough said.
42. DELIVERANCE by James Dickey
43. A DANCE TO THE MUSIC OF TIME (series) by Anthony Powell
44. POINT COUNTER POINT by Aldous Huxley
45. THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway
46. THE SECRET AGENT by Joseph Conrad
47. NOSTROMO by Joseph Conrad
48. THE RAINBOW by D.H. Lawrence
49. WOMEN IN LOVE by D.H. Lawrence
50. TROPIC OF CANCER by Henry Miller
51. THE NAKED AND THE DEAD by Norman Mailer
52. PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT by Philip Roth
53. PALE FIRE by Vladimir Nabokov
54. LIGHT IN AUGUST by William Faulkner
55. ON THE ROAD by Jack Kerouac
56. THE MALTESE FALCON by Dashiell Hammett
57. PARADE'S END by Ford Madox Ford
58. THE AGE OF INNOCENCE by Edith Wharton
59. ZULEIKA DOBSON by Max Beerbohm
60. THE MOVIEGOER by Walker Percy
61. DEATH COMES FOR THE ARCHBISHOP by Willa Cather
62. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY by James Jones
63. THE WAPSHOT CHRONICLES by John Cheever
64. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger
~> Again, FLEX.
65. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Anthony Burgess
66. OF HUMAN BONDAGE by W. Somerset Maugham
67. HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad
68. MAIN STREET by Sinclair Lewis
69. THE HOUSE OF MIRTH by Edith Wharton
70. THE ALEXANDRIA QUARTET by Lawrence Durell
71. A HIGH WIND IN JAMAICA by Richard Hughes
72. A HOUSE FOR MR BISWAS by V.S. Naipaul
73. THE DAY OF THE LOCUST by Nathanael West
74. A FAREWELL TO ARMS by Ernest Hemingway
~> I read this  for the second time at Interlochen, and despised it. This offended the section leader of the Second Violins. Perhaps if I were to read it again, I would enjoy it this time. I did like "Hills Like White Elephants"-- it reminded me of someone.
75. SCOOP by Evelyn Waugh
76. THE PRIME OF MISS JEAN BRODIE by Muriel Spark
77. FINNEGANS WAKE by James Joyce
78. KIM by Rudyard Kipling
79. A ROOM WITH A VIEW by E.M. Forster
80. BRIDESHEAD REVISITED by Evelyn Waugh
81. THE ADVENTURES OF AUGIE MARCH by Saul Bellow
82. ANGLE OF REPOSE by Wallace Stegner
83. A BEND IN THE RIVER by V.S. Naipaul
84. THE DEATH OF THE HEART by Elizabeth Bowen
85. LORD JIM by Joseph Conrad
86. RAGTIME by E.L. Doctorow
87. THE OLD WIVES' TALE by Arnold Bennett
88. THE CALL OF THE WILD by Jack London
89. LOVING by Henry Green
90. MIDNIGHT'S CHILDREN by Salman Rushdie
91. TOBACCO ROAD by Erskine Caldwell
92. IRONWEED by William Kennedy
93. THE MAGUS by John Fowles
94. WIDE SARGASSO SEA by Jean Rhys
95. UNDER THE NET by Iris Murdoch
96. SOPHIE'S CHOICE by William Styron
~> Sad.
97. THE SHELTERING SKY by Paul Bowles
98. THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE by James M. Cain
99. THE GINGER MAN by J.P. Donleavy
100. THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS by Booth Tarkington

everything changes.

so frusterated with everyone.

it's all good it's all good everything is finefinefine.

honestly, maybe part of the reason that dating is sucking the life out of me is that i pay WAYYY too much attention to it, place way too much time and energy on it. maybe i just need to suck it up & realize that there is more to life than finding someone to spend time with.

fuck it all, man.

the ones i like either think i suck at life or are TAAAAAAAAKEN! so, there goes that. being single for a year here and trying to find someone to date has NOT been fun. i wanted to end with the whole, "it's been fun" thing but it's been rough. not like poverty-in-guatemala, genocide-in-darfur rough, but it's been the definition of "rough" for your average pop-tart college girl (which, let's face it, i am. i can't deny it any longer and pretend that i am anyone special.)

people don't like me all that much, thus i must be repulsing them. whatever, their loss. i can actually be kind of fun.

anyway, got to do hmwk b4 class!!

via http://watchout4snakes.com/creativitytools/RandomParagraph/RandomParagraph.aspx

Does Rachel lock Career Choice? Will the gossip tunnel Rachel? Career Choice flowers without Rachel. The poet buggers Career Choice within the convicted bay. The leak reads. When will Rachel chain the retail continental?

~SOOO much theory to read for a test on tuesday. seriously probably 400 pages. dense.

~& i have a research proposal...hopefully i'll get one of my articles shortly. i'm especially excited about: "Why GIs Prefer Those German Girls" (Coronet mag, 1952) and "The Malady of Being Seventeen" (Ladies Home Journal, 1909).

~great line from a cartel song:
"if i fail, well then i fail. at least i gave you something. it's better than silence."

~now that i've finally made the dean's list (woooooooot) some new bedding is in order. (the hot pink cheetah print is starting to hurt my eyes).

choices are:

1. http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Egyptian-Cotton-600-Thread-Count-Duvet-Cover/1803458/product.html

2. http://www.pbteen.com/products/p2537/index.cfm?pkey=cgrldvs

3. indetermined other

~i was looking forward to friday ALL WEEK. (not usually the girl who does that...it's usually thursday, b/c grey's anatomy!) & i must say, TOTALLY worth the wait. so much fun. i must have looked like such a fool, i couldn't stop laughing...it's not my fault that i actually had interesting company for once.

"We get the feeling that you'd break up with a guy if he seemed too normal and boring. You crave unpredictability and passion, and the tortured creative guy has buckets of that stuff. He will storm into your life and screw with your heart, and you will love every minute of it, because he's that sensitive and inspiring. Once in a while, he'll take something you say way too personally, but you've gotta love that he pays attention when you talk!

How you'll recognize him: He might have emo-boy hair. He's wearing a T-shirt for that band you love (or maybe a band you haven't even heard of yet).

Why he's perfect for you: You love feeling needed, and you've always wanted to be someone's muse."

ok, how scarily accurate is this? woah... sounds perfect. so where do i meet him?

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet, current car): Nick Toyota
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (fave ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Mint Chip Gore-Tex
3. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favorite color, favorite animal): Green Puppy
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, city where you were born): Ariel Southfield (that one actually DOES sound like a soap opera character, haha)
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first three letters of your last name, first two of your first name): Diera
6. SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Pink Coke (they should totally make that!)
7. NASCAR NAME (the first names of your grandfathers): Albert Frances
8. STRIPPER NAME ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy):
Happy Heart Hershey
9. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your fifth grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Huff Houston
10. SPY NAME (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Summer Chrysanthamum
11. CARTOON NAME (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Plum Pink Socks
12. HIPPIE NAME (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Froot Loops Elm

.....

to do this weekend--
1. Feminism short essay (2pgs)
2. Feminism long essay (5pgs)
3. Type psych notes outline
4. Catch up on reading for GLBT (oh, about 200 pages or so..dense, theoretical reading. at least class is fun! )
5. Type expository questions
6. Stupid stupid stupid class stupid presentation stupid.
7. Clean Room

ugh i really don't feel like doing my paper...OR studying. CRAP. maybe paper for an hour, then study..

Nearly Valentine's Day. Last year at this time I had a boyfriend. Granted, for V-day he got me a subscription to a news magazine, and that only after I told him he *must* get me a gift because that's what boyfriends do for girlfriends, but it was still nice to know that someone liked me enough to think of me (even if it was forced).

So I must ask where are all of the lovely emo-boys? SERIOUSLY! I thought there were no guys at my high school, then I came here. Yeah, I'm super-picky, but who isn't these days? All I'm asking for is a smart, sweet,adorable, suitably depressive emo/punk/alternative/nerdy boy, preferably within +/- two years of my age who wants to go to fun resteraunts and talk about books and movies! Is that really too much to expect at a selective private university? I can think of at least three guys offhand that I'd date, if only they'd ask. Unfortunately one is a frat guy, one is most likely gay, and the other one is taken.

OR PATRICK CAN JUST COME TO ST LOUIS AND MEET ME and of course once he meets me he will realize i am perfect & we will be happy together for the forseable future!

I'm too depressed for homework-- not because of the guy thing, because of how poorly History is going for me this semester. At least my Miranda July book of short stories finally came in the post, so I have something to look forward to after my shift.

he said, what are you waiting for, kiss her, kiss her?

i set my clocks early cause i know i'm always late.

i was late to psych today so my own personal Fall Out Boy had to look at me (everyone had to look to see what was interrupting lecture).

good thing i have fall out boy. everybody needs something to love. & it would be so depressing if i had nothing to hope for.

So there's this guy in my Soc Psych class who looks just like my First-Choice-Future-Husband, Patrick Stump (of course!) Dead ringer! Well, by "just like," i mean he's shortish, with blond hair and big dorky black glasses. I've seen him before- he might have been in my Psych class last year. I'm really unsure what to do about this conundrum. Class is in a large lecture hall- I sit in front on the left, he sits near the front on the right. Yesterday I kept craning my neck backwards to gawk. We're doing the chapter on attraction- the prof keeps talking about dating/mating selection- where is my attention supposed to drift to? I feel that he must have caught me staring, I'm just THAT uncool/obvious about everything, especially guys. One plan of action is to sit on his side of the room next time, behind him, but at an angle, so that my wishful glances will remain undetected. The prof. was explaining how one necessary feature in attraction is propinquity, which means proximity-- you can't like someone you never see-- and said "take a look at the person next to you, that's who you'll be dating by the end of the semester." So maybe I ought to give propinquity a try :P On the other hand, he is so adorable I don't see how he still be single. And even if he is single, he'd probably want more of the Kenzie type than the me type-- someone who knows how to put on makeup, who is too old for tantrums and cookies and markers. Then again, I'm really too busy for a boyfriend. I *should* be too busy for a boyfriend- I have so much work to do, it's quite overwhelming.

It all began with a dreamy funky blond boy & maybe that's where I've gone wrong, by moving away from that.

...so dreamy. anyone who says the word lichen in class has my heart. especially if they are totally awkwardly adorable.

love

&

hate.


they're like two brothers...

who go

on

a

date.

(what?)

...avenue q





so basically, i late you. or i hove you. i don't know. it's complicated.


within the past two days i have let go of some of my closest friends.
let go, let go.

they're just not right for me anymore & perhaps they never were.


fantasy > reality wish it didn't have to be this way but why waste time wishing for things you can never change.

If this were a year or two ago, right now I would be obsessed with Paramore.

I heard their single "Misery Business" on the radio. First thought that came to mind was that if this was two years ago, the lyrics would (would have been) be plastered all over my livejournal. ("watch all my wildest dreams come true/Not one of them involving you!") The lead singer is precisely the girl that I wanted so desperately to be. Truthfully, somewhat shamefully, if you today made me an offer of an even trade, my life for hers, I'm not positive that it would be easy to turn down.

I turned the radio up. I danced, as much dancing as one can do while driving. I enjoyed the song. But.

I believe we change not when we consciously command ourselves, CHANGE!, but when we stop censoring ourselves and allow ourselves to act authentically. Over this break, I've found my attitude changing about a remarkable number of things. I have noticed, disconcertingly, that things which were once "me" are now unfamiliar; things that I once scoffed at are quickly becoming favorites. I cannot pinpoint where, when, or how these changes took place. I cannot explain them. I am not sure I want to explain them. I doubt whether the explaination is interesting or necessary. To quote a character from Law and Order, "Night and day, man. Night and day."

It is easy to suspect we have changed; it is hard to know whether this is objectively true. It is easy to think we have improved; it is hard to recognize when we have improvements to make.

Life is tricky.

Your Love Life is Like Annie Hall

"A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies." You believe that love (if you even believe in love!) is a very complicated thing. Maybe love is pain. Or maybe it's all a big therapy session. You're still figuring it out. Your love style: Brainy and a bit neurotic Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Realistic and reflective

it would be nice to find this movie. i have the case at school, but no earthly idea where the disc went.

http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/features/2007/12/17/071217fi_fiction_lethem

this is a really good story